I cockslap morals
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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