I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
