we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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