Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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