I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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