The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
