today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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