I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize