take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
