did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
