check it out our google latitudes are spooning
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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