There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Randomize
