Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
