I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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