i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
