i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
