shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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