im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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