I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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