It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Randomize
