Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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