New low: just hacked my moms facebook
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
My balls are so social today.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
