So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
3 2 1 whiskey
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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