I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
