Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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