i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
