Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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