Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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