You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
