I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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