haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
