i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
