I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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