I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
