U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
