I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
