you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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