thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
