just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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