I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
They took my balls.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
