we have pet lesbian snakes
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Send help, water and tortillas.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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