my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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