I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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