how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
