this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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