last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
