I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
