Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
