dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
