I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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