Welp...herpes.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
