Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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