i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
