I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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