I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
