i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
