STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize