I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
