you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
