Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
