kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
