I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
this boner is exhausting
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
they're like a gay fantastic four
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
