dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
