My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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