too bad you live with your parents still
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
