That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
