You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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